If You Want Someone to Follow You, You Have to Give Good Directions

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Cookie Tuminello

“Good leaders make people feel that they're at the very heart of things, not at the periphery. Everyone feels that he or she makes a difference to the success of the organization. When that happens people feel centered and that gives their work meaning.” - Warren Bennis

Whether you are a high powered executive, manager, entrepreneur, or president of a volunteer organization, your success will be defined by two things: 1) Letting people know they matter and 2) Setting clear expectations for them to follow. If you don’t have both of these 2 principles in place before your employees/volunteers start a project, I can guarantee you that you’ll soon hit a brick wail called “Lack of Communication.”

A lot of executives automatically ‘assume’ that their department heads or higher managers automatically know everything they need to know to carry out instructions without actually telling them what needs to be done. Well, we all know the outcome of how things will be if we use that lovely word ‘assume’, don’t we? Somebody is going to end up with egg on their face because a ball got dropped somewhere along the line!

You, as the person in charge, know what you want, but it’s up to you to clearly define your expectations to your team right from day one. The outcome may be crystal clear in your mind, but if not translated into clearly defined steps and written on paper, your message may be as muddy as the good ol’ Mississippi!

If you want to enroll others in your vision and get maximum participation, you have to write out the context of the steps for others to follow. There’s a reason why we call this a ‘clarity’ statement – it not only defines your desires, it also opens the door to another important step called ‘communication’.

Here are some steps that will help you ensure the teamwork, productivity, and positive end results you need to create success in your business.

1. You have to get real clear about where you’re going and what you want the final outcome to be before you ever present it to your team. If you’re not sure about where you are going, do you think they are going to follow you? I don’t think so Alice! Get the “W’s” down pat beforehand – Who will do what, when, and where and how it will all come together at the end.

2. Meet with your team to discuss your proposed new plan and tell them how it is going to work. Have a detailed agenda in place so as not to waste your time or theirs. Scheduling meetings with your key players creates a synergy and allows them to freely offer ideas and possibilities that you might very well not have thought of in your original concept. (There’s that word ‘communication’ explained.)

3. Be sure to set clear guidelines for who is responsible for doing what and when you expect it to be finished. Make sure that team members are clear about their roles so you won’t hear “I thought Mary was taking care of that!” when something doesn’t get finished.

4. Be sure you have a verbal commitment from your team that they’re on board for the project. Schedule follow-up meetings and weekly check-ins to keep the project on deadline. And speaking of deadlines, be specific about the date you expect to have everything completed by.

5. Lastly, offer your support and then get out of the way and let them do their stuff. No one likes to be micro-managed or feel as if their leader is breathing down their neck all the time! Words of encouragement go a long way to fostering good personal relations and they go down a heck of a lot easier than words of condemnation do. Remember, success is building relationships, not tearing them down.

All of the great leaders of our time had a clearly defined plan. In addition, they had an innate ability to communicate that plan to others in order to receive the results they desired. It just makes good business sense that you, as the leader, do the same.

Three Steps to Unleashing Your Team's Potential

By Steven Sonsino

Most people could perform at a much higher level than they do if their boss created a suitable environment for them to flourish in. In many instances, it's the boss who is holding the team back by trying to control it too closely.

So ask yourself, do you set unnecessary boundaries for your teams? If you have no idea, maybe you should ask them. "How am I holding you back?" you could ask.

One useful technique to adopt is a KISS strategy: use it in this discussion and you won't go far wrong.

Ask your people these four questions:
1) What should I KEEP doing?
2) What do I need to IMPROVE?
3) What should I STOP doing?
4) And what should I START doing?

What else can you do to unleash the potential in your people? It's about open conversations. I call these 'No Limits' conversations.

This is what you should do:
1) Keep your people informed with face-to-face briefings. This helps them feel useful and important. Clear and open communication is critical.

What does this mean? It means you've got to make sure you have a great team briefing mechanism in place. The Work Foundation in the UK (formerly the Industrial Society) has a useful team briefing mechanism you should consider. It's simple, powerful and effective. Visit the Work Foundation's website for details of 'Managing Best Practice No 72 Team Communication'.

2) Listen to your people and act on their objections when they have good ideas. Do it graciously and make sure folks know whose the idea was.

If, after listening to the objections, you decide not to change your plans, say why you won't change them. Try this kind of statement: "I can see that you're not happy with the process, but until we come up with a better one, I'd like to stick to this one for now. And if you have suggestions that will improve it further, do please let me know."

3) Let people decide HOW to do what you want. The toughest thing you have to do is let your people exercise as much self-direction and self-control as they can on routine things. You may need to say exactly what you want them to achieve or do, but please let them decide how to deliver it.

If your early indications are that what they're doing isn't going to hit the target, ask them whether progress is on target. If it then doesn't actually work, tell them it didn't work. Some managers assume their teams will know or find out, but this is not always the case.

Ask them what they're going to do next time. Ask what they need to do differently.

You've probably noticed that my suggestions involve talking to your people. You need to create an open environment, where everyone's ideas are welcomed and explored. And you do that by starting the conversations yourself. YOU are the one who has to change the way things work.

Your team has to know that you're interested in what they're doing, but that you're willing to let them get on with it.

Structured brainstorming techniques are needed here, not just haphazard 'shouting out' at meetings. I've got a great one I use called Nominal Group Technique but there are hundreds out there.

This 'No Limits' conversation policy is based on different assumptions about why people do the things they do. Great leaders assume that people actually want to contribute to their jobs. They know that people are 'pre-motivated to perform'. The trick is how do you get the performance out?

Secondly, great leaders know that the more people are involved in designing and managing their work, the better they will perform.

And thirdly, great leaders know that good and meaningful performance leads to job satisfaction - which creates an even higher performing team. You create a virtuous circle of performance that reinforces your leadership success and the success of your team.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

If you want the leadership success you deserve, get the leadership training you deserve. Download more free articles and leadership training videos from Steven Sonsino, an international business school professor and author of the Amazon bestseller "The Seven Failings of Really Useless Leaders" Get more FREE videos and articles right now: www.deathofleadership.com

The Four Emotional Stages of Change

On a recent trip to Papua New Guinea, I had a really embarrassing experience. One morning a young PNG woman came to the office with her hair beautifully braided. It looked lovely and I told her so. I even asked her where she´d had it done. Can you imagine how I felt when I discovered that the young woman´s child had just died and she was wearing her hair in braids as a symbol of profound grief and mourning.

How often do we make false assumptions about other people based on our own culture and experiences? And even more importantly, how often do we fail to recognise and understand how individuals deal with grief and change in their personal lives or at work.

When organizations go through change, for example a restructure, a merger, downsizing, the installation of new information technology, outsourcing, a shift to customer focus or a new location – many employees experience a sense of loss. This is obvious if it means losing a job. Yet often the reasons for the sense of loss are not clear but the effects may be just as profound – both for the individual and on the organization´s bottom line.

Imagine working with the same people for a number of years. Without warning, their roles, but not yours, are outsourced. Or your team is disbanded and you find yourself in a new department and location.

For some of us, still having a job would be a relief and we may even be excited about the future. But the impact of unexpected and unwanted changes like these varies from person to person and is often mixed.

What we know is that most people go through four emotional changes when they experience a major shock. Test these stages against how you experienced a major change e.g. the death of a family member or friend; a divorce; the loss of your job; a major change at work; a confronting medical procedure.

1. Disbelief and denial
Initially the change is met with disbelief and denial. "It won´t happen to me." "No, they won´t close the plant – they´ll find a way through the problems, they always have." "If I just keep my head down, it´ll be business as usual soon."

2. Anger and blame
Next, it is common to see anger and blame. In workplace change at this time some employees will actively resist the changes saying things like: "Why should I change? Is this how they treat us after we´ve worked our butts off?"

What is more risky is withdrawal and lack of concentration. In this high-risk period, watch out for an increase in accidents, drop off in quality, absenteeism, corruption or fraud.

3. Reluctant Acceptance
As people work through their anger, they move to the third stage where they reluctantly begin to accept the changes and start to explore their role in it. You´ll hear things like: "There´s just too much to do now – how am I going to get it all done?" "OK let´s try it but who´s doing what now?" " I´ll never learn this new system – I need training."

4. The final stage
When employees commit to the change, they start focusing on the future instead of dwelling on the past. They have a clear sense of their roles and where they are going.

What are the implications of these emotions when we are planning and implementing organizational change?

1. During Denial
Do everything you can to minimize the shock. Plan ahead. Give them plenty of information – let them know what the changes will be, who will be affected by them and how. Give them your best estimate of the likely timeframe – remembering that these things always take longer than originally planned.. Give them chance to prepare themselves and let the changes sink in. You cannot over-communicate now.

2. During Resistance
Listen to what people have to say. Empathize. Don´t tell them to snap out of it or pull themselves together. People don´t want your solutions, they just want their responses and reactions acknowledged. Denying their feelings will only drive the resistance deeper and make it last longer.

3. During Exploration
Now people need practical encouragement and support. Provide training. Involve them in planning and setting goals. Focus on some short term wins to get early runs on the board –show the benefit of the changes. People will respond well if they can see the positive impact of the change.

Watch out if the changes do not provide any immediate observable benefit. Then there is a real likelihood that people will sink back into resistance and may even undermine your change strategy completely.

4. During Commitment
Now that you are through the transition, set about consolidating the change. Implement an appropriate cultural change program. Recognize and reward people who are responding well to the change. Be careful to not inadvertently reward any behavior that is inconsistent with what you´re aiming for.

People move through the emotional stages of change at different rates. That´s why these transitions can be hard and counter-productive.

Sometimes it is impossible to tell people too much ahead of the change because of market forces. But if people are in denial, or are angry or resistant, productivity will be low. You might see a short-term spike in response to the change but it is likely to be short lived until these stages are worked through.

Design and plan your change management strategy to recognize and support the transition phase. Do this and you will reduce the impact of the inevitable drop in productivity. More importantly, you will gain the on-going commitment of your people

Anne Riches can be reached via email or at http://www.anneriches.com.au/ .
Anne Riches is the principal consultant and managing director of The Riches Group Pty Ltd, a boutique consultancy specializing in planning and facilitating sustainable, organizational change. The Riches Group also provides effective facilitation of strategic planning and other key meetings, development of leadership and managerial capabilities and advice on people based strategies.

Be The Best Boss You Can Be

By Cash Miller

Being the person in charge can often be very exhilarating for someone experiencing such a feeling for the first time. Whether you are in charge of a project with a team of company employees that are reporting to you or a single employee that you might be responsible for. Either way we all get a rush from the power suddenly handed to us. But those feelings come while working for someone else. Now imagine the rush you will get when you are the ultimate authority over everyone employed by your company! It can be like nothing you've ever experienced before. All the important decisions are yours to make. The fates of your employees are up to you. The future of your company is in your hands. Everything relies on you!

Okay now are we over the rush? Has reality set in yet? I hope so because while it may sound like everything you have ever dreamed that you wanted. It's not an easy thing to be the final authority on everything that happens to a business. It's a lot of hard work. But you do get the chance to be the boss if that is what you really want. So what kind of boss will you be?

We've all had bosses we've hated at one time or another. And some people have also managed to have a supervisor or two that they liked. Of course no one is ever going to be the perfect boss but what would you prefer. Do you want to be the tyrant or a person that people like coming to work for? We know that it's not a popularity contest and the needs of the business will always have to come first. But which is better, having employees that actually like to come to work for you each day and can then give their best while on the job or people that hate their work and will always be watching the clock just waiting to go home?

Remember the supervisors you've had at one time or another that were both good to you and that you hated. No one really wants to be the type of boss that everyone hates but sometimes it does turn out that way. You know in your heart that you can do better and you will. You just have to be willing to put forth the effort. All the good intentions in the world will get you nowhere if you are unwilling to act.

So what can you do to be a good supervisor? Many things can be done, in fact more than we can possibly cover but we can mention a few of the more important things that you can do. Be willing to listen. Your employees should always be allowed a voice. People like to know their opinions are valued. And be genuine about soliciting their opinions. Give employee evaluations. Not everyone is going to like what you may have to say about them but if you do it the right way they may come to appreciate the input. Evaluations are a great way to show that you are paying attention to them. Employees that appreciate their jobs will make your that much easier.

Treating your employees with respect each day will always help. Yelling at them and berating them for mistakes they might have made will get you nowhere with them. Acknowledge that a mistake was made and work with the employee to correct. Try to teach them about the mistake was made and how they can prevent such a mistake happening again. Then move on. Because dwelling on something that is over with will not help you either.

Let people know when they have done a good job. Praise is too often withheld or the benefits of acknowledging a good job are ignored. How would you feel if you put forth your best effort to make a project successful and don't even receive a simple thank you for your efforts? Never forget that people are not machines and so they should not be treated as such. Treat your employees how you would want to be treated and you will not go wrong.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Cash Miller is an experienced entrepreneur and speaker who has spent over a decade as a small business owner. His years of experience in small business cover a variety of topics. If you are looking for more small business help please check out www.smallbusinessdelivered.com

When to Use an Advisory Board a Consultant or Both To Help Grow Your Business

Earlier this month I had the opportunity to attend an EDI (Case Western University) program on boards of advisors.

I learned that boards of advisors, unlike directors, have no formal power or fiduciary duties, but rather serve at the pleasure of the business owner.

With clear direction, they can really assist a CEO to grow his/her firm, particularly if the CEO´s expertise is not in sales or marketing.

Boards of advisors, according to one of the course leaders, are preferable to consultants who cost more and are more biased. Having more than just an academic interest in this debate I began to wonder when is it appropriate to use a board of advisors, a consultant or both?

Using a Board of Advisors
If carefully recruited, a board of advisors can provide a CEO with unbiased knowledge, expertise and feedback.

Advisors seem to be best at evaluating and appraising the ideas or directions that the owner is contemplating or finalizing.

Most advisors are busy senior executives and modestly compensated to serve on a board. Accordingly, they are rarely able to fully contest or disprove the summary information they are given, which usually arrives on short notice.

Rather, they can react with wisdom, counsel, and "a second opinion" to a pre-developed idea or plan.

Advisors are like Focus Groups
The real value of a board of advisors appears to resemble that of a focus group. Focus groups are used by marketing executives as a way to predict the behavior of their market place prior to a product launch or other major promotion.

Successful focus groups demonstrate three common characteristics:

    * They are used to react to new ideas, concepts and approaches, but never to invent a new idea
    * The effectiveness of a focus group is largely the function of how well the moderator has prepared an agenda and a discussion guide for running the meeting
    * They consist of intelligent, outspoken, and knowledgeable participants who constructively complement each other´s opinions and reactions.

If Advisory Boards resemble focus groups, then the burden is on the CEO or President to serve as the moderator.

He or she must prepare all the analysis, invent the new ideas and ensure that implementation and other tactical plans are in place for a good board to absorb and provide a response. And this is where a consultant can help.

Consultants are like Employees
A good consultant can be invaluable to a company leader if a specific skill set is missing or overstretched within the company.

Consultants bring expertise, experience and are generally unbiased if they are not selling other products or over-extending their assignments. Accordingly, consultants can prepare all the analysis, invent the new ideas and ensure that execution and other tactical plans are in place.

Furthermore, in lieu of staff, consultants can develop information, create tactics and even implement programs. Boards cannot and will not do a company´s work.

Use an Advisory Board and Consultants Together for Maximum Results.
Many presidents use an advisory board meeting as a forum for their employees and consultants to present progress on key projects.

This way a company leader can oversee the development, creation and production of the critical work and then have an advisory board react and respond to the results.

So, when should an owner or CEO use a board of advisors or a consultant to help grow their business? It does not need to be an either/or decision.

Rather, use a consultant to help you when you don´t know what you don´t know or to create what you don´t have. Then use a board of advisors for unbiased input when you know what you don´t know.

Andy Birol can be reached via email or at http://www.andybirol.com..
Andrew J. Birol is President of Birol Growth Consulting, who helps owners grow their businesses by growing their best and highest use(R). Andy can be reached at 440-349-1970, by email at abirol@andybirol.com, or on the web at www.andybirol.com.

Guard against conflicting messages

Roy Bartell

Did you ever consider that, without knowing it, you may be inadvertently sending the wrong messages to your customers? Consider the three following points:

   What you promise versus what you do.

 You can send a conflicting message if you lead customers to expect a level of service that differs from what you normally provide. Over-eagerness to be more responsive, or to match or exceed a competitor's service, may cause you to commit to an overly ambitious level of service. Customers who fail to receive the promised services quickly learn to ignore your claims and to expect instead, the level of service they are actually receiving.

   What you imply versus what you do.

 Even without making an overt promise of service, it's easy to crate a conflicting message. My customer surveys, for example, tell customers their feedback is important? Consequently, some customers assume they will be informed about the survey results or any changes that will take place as a consequence of the results. Such notification rarely takes place. As a result, if changes are implemented, customers see little connection between their feedback and the changes. Failure to follow up on what customers perceive as a promise may be one reason that lower response rates are seen in any subsequent surveys.

   What you say versus how you say it.

 Conflict may occur between statements you make and the way you look or sound when you make them. People often give greater credence to your demeanor or the tone of your voice than the specific words you use. Its subtleties such as these that make the difference in how customers rate their satisfaction with the service they receive. If you answer the phone sounding bored or fatigued, or revealing the stress you may be experiencing, callers can hear how you feel - even if your words suggest otherwise.

Conversely, if you answer enthusiastically, you communicate to the caller that you're pleased to hear from them. Especially in the case of customer support, to a person with a problem, nothing is as reassuring as someone who sounds eager to help.

 

Keep in mind that everything you do or say has the potential to influence perceptions and create expectations. Continually ask yourself what expectation you may be creating and explore ways to eliminate any causes for conflict.

About the Author

By: Roy Bartell

If there was a simple process for maximizing your communications, would you master it?

Sixty five percent of voluntary terminations are the result of unresolved conflict. A huge percentage of couples who get divorced say that the decision was based at least in part because they couldn't communicate.
Success in business and in life requires an atmosphere of shared goals in order to be successful in the long run. "Strategic Conversations" can help.

Strategic conversations, generically speaking, is a straightforward process that aligns five key principles of behavior and applies them to the various environments in which we live our lives.
The process is an essential aide in the team building, leadership and management development, conflict resolution and conflict preventions processes. Formally, "Strategic Conversations" adds to the above a professionally facilitated peer group, think tank, and mentoring process.

Giving Back: Good For The Community And Good For Business

During the season of celebration and family traditions it´s an appropriate time to remind ourselves that it´s important, not only to worry about the company profits but also to give back to the local community.

And you don´t have to be Bill Gates and Microsoft Corporation to do it.

Almost any size organization, with or without a philanthropic budget, can find ways to "do good." But the following story is the best recent example I´ve heard of "doing good."

If you owned a landscaping design firm and garden center, you could follow the lead of Ken Warfield, owner of Living Landscapes, located in Barnegat, NJ.

A local school principal called Warfield as well as other area businesses looking for some donated mulch to put in the school´s courtyard area where students had begun a garden with donated plants and seedlings a few years prior.

Warfield said, "Sure" without hesitation, noting that he would donate the entire amount needed and went to the school to measure the area for the amount of mulch that would be necessary.

He was dismayed by what he saw when he viewed the disheveled appearance of the courtyard. It was badly in need of serious landscaping repair.

A day or so later, when the school had a half-day session, Warfield packed up seven trees that when blooming will provide a canopy of white and red flowers, some other plants, materials and supplies from Living Landscapes and showed up at the closed school with a small crew to work some magic.

When the principal saw what Warfield had done, he was completely overwhelmed by this selfless gesture from a local business owner.

The school principal not only expressed his gratitude to Warfield and Living Landscapes; he contacted two area newspaper editors. They promptly sent out photographers and reporters to interview the principal and Warfield.

The story and schoolyard transformation appeared in both local newspapers.

Warfield is a little embarrassed by all the hoopla and attention since he just quietly, on his own, decided to make a difference in the lives of local schoolchildren.

It was something that he wanted to do and could accomplish with a few hours of hard work, the donation of some trees and a little of his heart.

The fact is that this event will probably pay off royally for Living Landscapes in increased name recognition in one of the firm´s primary market areas.

Editorial coverage of good deeds such as this one can exercise significant positive influence on an organization´s image.

Firms spend major amounts of their marketing budgets on branding, focusing their efforts on creating attention-getting logos and taglines, hoping that it will keep their names and products in the forefront of their markets´ minds. Living Landscapes accomplished the same thing unwittingly just by giving back to the local community.

Here are a couple of other ideas to get you thinking.

If you own or work for a multimedia services company, perhaps you could donate equipment for an evening entertainment event that supports a local hospital, nursing home or children´s daycare center.

Or you could assist a local, community theater that´s struggling through the setup of its sound system. A technology consulting company might offer their old computers, servers and networking expertise to a local inner city school system.

If your business expertise lies in marketing or public relations, you could volunteer your time with a local nonprofit agency such as I do with an organization that provides services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

I support the agency´s staff in developing communication strategies and sometimes provide input to their publications and promotional campaigns, maintain their website and serve on their Board of Directors. It takes only 10 hours or so a month and makes me feel good.

During the holiday season when business may slow down and you have the opportunity to plan and package your new ideas for the coming year, why not spend a little time brainstorming about some ways to support a local organization?

You´ll feel good about yourself, help your local area residents and just maybe strengthen your company´s image in its marketplace as well.

Kelly Griffin can be reached via email or at http://www.kellygriffin.com/.
Kelly Griffin is a communications generalist who thrives on a good challenge and tight deadlines. With an extensive background in both business to business and consumer marketing, there are few projects beyond her capabilities. An expert in the development of collaterals and the management of creative and sales teams, Kelly, along with her team, has received over 50 national and regional awards for projects, writing, and promotional campaigns.

Spare time is devoted to volunteer work with Womanspace, Inc. in Mercer County , NJ, an agency that provides services to victims of domestic violence. A member of the Board of Directors for years, Kelly is immediate past president of the Board and chairs the Planning and Development Committee as well as being a member of the Executive and Outreach Committees.

What´s Bothering Managers?

Where do we begin? Tired of playing `piggy in the middle´?

They cop flack from both sides – upper management and the people they `manage´. Tired of being one of the first to blame when things go wrong?

Frustrated by the lack of back up and support from the upper echelons who expect them to perform the daily miracles required to produce excellent results?

They don the title of Manager or Supervisor and suddenly they are expected to know all about Human Resource issues, communication, handling people, Unions, etc.

One day they are `the best´ at whatever they do and on the strength of that, chosen for promotion. The next day they are the Manager, still the best at whatever it is they do, but no further ahead with the knowledge they need to succeed in their new position.

Do they complain and possibly risk losing their new hard-worked-for position or the respect of upper levels of management?

Or do they struggle on doing the best they can? As individuals, they can seek further training in their own time to learn effective people handling skills, and many managers do this.

However, if you take an honest look at an overall Organization, you´ll probably find many departmental Heads in the same position – good at what they do, but lacking the skills needed for effective `management´.

So when does the responsibility for further training become an Organizational issue and not an individual issue?

For those with their eyes on a promotion, it would be in their best interests to have this training now. Then, when they are the best at what they do AND they have the skills necessary to be effective Managers and Supervisors, they have a lot more to offer a Company.

For those who have already been thrust into the position of Supervisor or Manager, it is the company´s responsibility to ensure they have all the tools and training necessary in order for them to perform their duties effectively.

One step Managers can take to make their job easier is to take a long hard look at their own areas of weakness.

Be honest. Brainstorm with your department and ask for their honest opinions – make it clear that this is not a blame apportioning exercise and that opinions shall be treated with respect.

Instead of feeling that one is on their own in the improvement stakes, make it a departmental responsibility.

What can everyone do to ensure your department runs more smoothly and easily? Create a focus on what is already working and build from there.

For those things which definitely are not working, brainstorm as a team.

Ask your workforce what they need from you in order to do their jobs more efficiently. Do they need more training? More autonomy? More supervision? Regular feedback? Weekly meetings with you?

Tell your workforce what you need from them. If you want them to just get on with the job and only bother you when there is a problem that only you can help with, let them know. If you´d rather they reported weekly to you on the progress of certain projects, tell them. Chances are none of you are mind-readers!

Your role as Manager will be greatly improved if you open the lines of communication. Do not apportion blame.

Rather than seeing your role in terms of "managing", think of it in terms of coaching or mentoring. Experience has shown that employees respond better to coaching/mentoring techniques than they do to the traditional management methods.

This means never being too busy for your staff, never being too self-important, and making time to be their Team Leader. Pay attention to what they say to you.

Take the time to listen and learn from and with them. And expect your own `Manager´ or President/CEO to do the same. Have a meeting and be open. You cannot work in the dark. Say what you need in order to do your job properly.

When talking with your staff or higher management, here are 6 tips to help you get the most out of it:

1. Listen carefully. Don´t be thinking ahead of what you want to say – put that aside while the other person is talking and just concentrate on what they are saying to you.

2. Repeat back what you think they said to ensure you have understood. Use phrases like "I understand what you mean," or "I see your point", and when you don´t, ask them to clarify. Get to the bottom of it.

3. Be honest about your own shortcomings and admit to your mistakes. And if you are going to give feedback, be careful not to do it in a blaming sense.

Keep emotion out of it and just stick to the facts. Do not resort to name-calling or putting anybody else down in order to justify your position.

4. Apologize where an apology is called for. Don´t try to make excuses for poor performance – focus instead on what can be done to improve/rectify the situation.

5. Ask for input/ideas on how to improve the situation.

6. If the timing is bad for your discussion, be honest and say that you need time to think over what has just been said and make a time for follow up.

As a Manager, you may sometimes feel you have to be all things to all people. It doesn´t have to be that way if you focus on a team spirit. You are all in it together and the responsibility for making anything "work" should be a team effort.

Five Habits of Highly Effective Conflict Resolvers

By Dina Beach Lynch, Esq.

Steven Covey had the right idea. There are discreet skills and attitudes, habits if you will, that can elevate your conflict practice to a new level. This article shares a selection of habits and attitudes that can transform a good conflict resolver into a highly effective one. By that I mean someone who facilitates productive, meaningful discussion between others that results in deeper self-awareness, mutual understanding and workable solutions.

I have used the term ‘conflict resolver’ intentionally to reinforce the idea that human resource professionals and managers are instrumental in ending disputes, regardless of whether they are also mediators. These conflict management techniques are life skills that are useful in whatever setting you find yourself. With these skills, you can create environments that are respectful, collaborative and conducive to problem-solving. And, you’ll teach your employees to be proactive, by modeling successful conflict management behaviors.

UNDERSTAND THE EMPLOYEE’S NEEDS

Since you’re the ‘go to person’ in your organization, it’s natural for you to jump right in to handle conflict. When an employee visits you to discuss a personality conflict, you assess a situation, determine the next steps and proceed until the problem is solved. But is that helpful?

When you take charge, the employee is relieved of his or her responsibility to find a solution. That leaves you to do the work around finding alternatives. And while you want to do what’s best for this person (and the organization), it’s important to ask what the employee wants first– whether it’s to vent, brainstorm solutions or get some coaching. Understand what the person entering your door wants by asking questions:

•How can I be most helpful to you?
•What are you hoping I will do?
•What do you see my role as in this matter?

ENGAGE IN COLLABORATIVE LISTENING

By now everyone has taken at least one active listening course so I won’t address the basic skills. Collaborative Listening takes those attending and discerning skills one step further. It recognizes that in listening each person has a job that supports the work of the other. The speaker’s job is to clearly express his or her thoughts, feelings and goals. The listener’s job is facilitating clarity; understanding and make the employee feel heard.

So what’s the difference? The distinction is acknowledgement. Your role is to help the employee gain a deeper understanding of her own interests and needs; to define concepts and words in a way that expresses her values (i.e. respect means something different to each one of us); and to make her feel acknowledged—someone sees things from her point of view.

Making an acknowledgement is tricky in corporate settings. Understandably, you want to help the employee but are mindful of the issues of corporate liability. You can acknowledge the employee even while safeguarding your company.

Simply put, acknowledgement does not mean agreement. It means letting the employee know that you can see how he got to his truth. It doesn’t mean taking sides with the employee or abandoning your corporate responsibilities. Acknowledgement can be the bridge across misperceptions. Engage in Collaborative Listening by:

•Help the employee to explore and be clear about his interests and goals

•Acknowledge her perspective

I can see how you might see it that way.
That must be difficult for you.
I understand that you feel _______ about this.

•Ask questions that probe for deeper understanding on both your parts:
oWhen you said x, what did you mean by that?
oIf y happens, what’s significant about that for you?
oWhat am I missing in understanding this from your perspective?

BE A GOOD TRANSMITTER

Messages transmitted from one person to the next are very powerful. Sometimes people have to hear it ‘from the horse’s mouth’. Other times, you’ll have to be the transmitter of good thoughts and feelings. Pick up those ‘gems’, those positive messages that flow when employees feel safe and heard in mediation, and present them to the other employee. Your progress will improve.

We’re all human. You know how easy it is to hold a grudge, or assign blame. Sharing gems appropriately can help each employee begin to shift their perceptions of the situation, and more importantly, of each other. To deliver polished gems, try to:

•Act soon after hearing the gem
•Paraphrase accurately so the words aren’t distorted
•Ask the listener if this is new information and if changes her stance
•Avoid expecting the employees to visibly demonstrate a ‘shift in stance’ (it happens internally and on their timetable, not ours)

RECOGNIZE POWER

Power is a dominant factor in mediation that raises many questions: What is it? Who has it? How to do you balance power? Assumptions about who is the ‘powerful one’ are easy to make and sometimes wrong. Skillful conflict resolvers recognize power dynamics in conflicts and are mindful about how to authentically manage them. You can recognize power by being aware that:

•Power is fluid and exchangeable
•Employees possess power over the content and their process (think of employees concerns as the water flowing into and being held by the container)
•Resolvers possess power over the mediation process ( their knowledge, wisdom, experience, and commitment form the container)
•Your roles as an HR professional and resolver will have a significant impact on power dynamics

BE OPTIMISTIC & RESILIENT

Agreeing to participate in mediation is an act of courage and hope. By participating, employees are conveying their belief in value of the relationship. They are also expressing their trust in you to be responsive to and supportive of our efforts. Employees may first communicate their anger, frustration, suffering, righteousness, regret, not their best hopes. You can inspire them to continue by being optimistic:

•Be positive about your experiences with mediation
•Hold their best wishes and hopes for the future
•Encourage them to work towards their hopes

Be Resilient. Remember the last time you were stuck in a conflict? You probably replayed the conversation in your mind over and over, thinking about different endings and scolding yourself. Employees get stuck, too. In fact, employees can become so worn down and apathetic about their conflict, especially a long-standing dispute; they’d do anything to end it. Yes, even agree with each other prematurely. Don’t let them settle. Mediation is about each employee getting their interest met. Be resilient:

•Be prepared to move yourself and the employees though productive and less productive cycles of the mediation
•Help the employees see their movement and progress
•Be mindful and appreciative of the hard work you all are doing

Hopefully, you’ve discovered that these are your own habits in one form or another and that your organization is benefiting from your knowledge. You can learn more about workplace mediation and mediation in general from these books and websites:

The Power of Mediation
Bringing Peace into the Room
Difficult Conversation: How to Say What Matters Most
www.ne-acr.org (The New England Association of Conflict Resolvers)
www.mediate.com (mediation portal site)
www.workwelltogether.com (conflict management toolkit)

"Mediation is based on a belief in the fundamental honesty of human
beings. Which is another way of saying we all want to be treated justly
- that is according to our unique situation and viewpoint on the world.
And we cannot expect to be treated justly if we do not honestly reveal
ourselves." ~ the Honourable Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister 1937

About the Author

Dina Beach Lynch, Esq. is a mediator and conflict coach who launched WorkWellTogether.com Formerly Dina was Ombuds for Fleet Bank where she assisted 48,000 employees to resolve work tensions. Dina can be reached at Dina@workwelltogether.com

Management at Its Best

Eileen M Penrose

 Antoine de Saint-Exupery eloquently said, "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea."

 How can this idea help you to be a better manager?

 Employees who are inspired by the company's mission, or at least the project they're working on, usually do the best work. You want to show them how they play a part in the whole scheme of things. Let them know how what they contribute is important. I did not buy American made cars for many years because I believed that Americans didn't like their jobs any more. I figured that if I wanted good craftsmanship, I would need to buy foreign.

 But if American managers take a look at how to motivate each employee to do their best, that's a different story. Can you do that? We know that everyone wants their pay, but what else do they need to keep coming to work day after day? Even better, what would help them to really want to come to work and do their best? You have to admit that a stack of green paper and coins isn't all that exciting. We really want the things that money can buy. Earning money is just as much about being interested in our careers, as it is about the money.

 So think about each person working for you for a moment. Can you see what it is that each one values in their work? Maybe one person is particularly organized and values efficiency. Another really works to make the world a better place. Still another may be working in order to come up with new ways of doing things. Others are leaders who excel at taking charge, whom people naturally want to follow.

 People definitely work for more than one reason. There are those who work to serve others. Some people love to tell stories. That would be your best salesperson! Others are great with information. They can find the best information out there on anything and everything. It just comes naturally to them.

Try looking at your own work in the same way. Which of these seven factors motivate you the most? Probably one or two really work for you, and the others are not your strong suits. You need to know which of these abilities you need from the people you manage so you can choose them according to their strengths and manage them to grow in those areas. Efficiency, service, information, innovation, leadership, storytelling and inspiration are the seven basic reasons people do the work they do.

 Everyone can do well with one or two of these abilities. If you know your own strengths and the special strengths of each person you supervise, you can manage them better to produce great results in terms of the company's mission. They will think you're the best manager they ever had if you notice these traits, value them, and encourage them to work in these terms. Each member of the team will be more willing to do their best, give a little bit more and produce the very best work when they can work for more than just a paycheck.

Now we don't mean you should create an idealistic work environment where no one has to do anything they don't like. This is simply about how to be a more effective manager of people. It's a way to make the most of the people you have, as well as with your own work. Most managers know they will get more valuable work from each person they supervise if they understand that person, their skills and their reason for wanting to do the best job. Think about how much that could be worth to you!

Eileen M Penrose can be reached at http://www.managementfyi.com.

Eileen M Penrose specializes in managerial coaching. You can read more articles on the subject of management at ManagementFYI

 

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