5 Strategies For Handling Difficult Conversations in the Workplace and Keeping Your Composure
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Nothing is more stressful than engaging in a difficult conversation except anticipating such a conversation. Handling a difficult conversation without losing your self-control comes from practice, perspective and awareness.
With a few tips you can conquer the fear, hold the conversation and still walk away feeling good about yourself and not leaving the other party devastated.
Learn these 5 strategies for handling tough conversations and keeping your composure:
1. Remember who you are. This is a piece of advice I learned years ago and it has helped me cope with the anxiety that comes from thinking about difficult conversations. You have the right to honor yourself as a person of integrity (if you are.)
You have the right to voice your opinion about an uncomfortable topic without explaining yourself. You may never change another’s opinion about your or shift their behavior but in the end only you know who you are.
2. Remember where you are. The workplace is a bit like the internet, once the words are out of your mouth they can’t be taken back. The saying “the walls have ears” suggests that conversations (no matter how confidential) have a way of becoming viral. A juicy tidbit of conversation begs to be forwarded. Choose your words carefully.
3. Connect your head to your heart. This was another sage comment directed at me during a particularly difficult time in my life. It seems that my communication skills were governed by my stress level. Everything I said was heard as a confrontation, disapproval or annoyance.
My head was not connecting to my heart. Connect your words to your compassion rather than raw emotion. More than likely the anticipated communication is probably difficult for all parties involved.
4. Rehearse your comments. Have you ever come up the perfect comment to a remark only it was long after the conversation was over? You are not alone. Knowing what you want to say, how to say it and saying it in an organized manner comes with planning not shooting from the hip. A loose comment in the heat of the moment has a way of distorting your intention.
Write out the anticipated conversation or elicit the ear of someone not emotionally involved in the situation to listen to your words and voice. Rehearsing increases your chances of being successful at making all of your points even if emotions threaten to take over.
5. Consider the long term impact. What impact or result will occur moments after your conversation? Will the result last more than a few moments? What about the impact in a few weeks and in a year from now? You’ll discover that some conversations won’t need to happen at all, but don’t make that an excuse for not having the ones that do.
Thinking about the long term impact allows you to put things into perspective. Perspective goes a long way towards guiding the tone, words, and intention of your communication. A small shift in your behavior could make the difference between keeping or losing a customer, from maintaining morale or creating chaos, or from motivating someone to do better rather than deflating their self-worth.
Difficult conversations are unavoidable in the workplace but a bit of preparation rather than stressful anticipation will help you keep your composure when the stakes are high and create a better outcome.
If you want more communication and listening techniques to help you in the workplace go to http://www.alliecasey.com and claim your free Listening Skills Assessment. Just enter your name and email address for Free Instant Access.
Allie Casey, communications speaker, trainer and small business coach helps organizations, business owners and mere mortals decrease misunderstandings and increase productivity and profit. Contact Allie only if you need to sell more, communicate your vision and ideas better and manage with more cooperation. Or if you just want more fun communicating with others.
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