Finding Mentor Relationships That Work

Mentors can serve multiple roles. They can provide a knowledgeable sounding board for your ideas. Senior level executives within your own organization often have a high level view of the direction that the organization is taking and can help you avoid missteps. Beyond that, they've usually been at it longer than you have. No matter how smart and talented you are, there is no substitute for experience. So why not learn from the experience of others?

Ideally, your boss should be your mentor. He or she will be evaluating your strengths and weakness and can give you assignments that help you to grow. If that's not happening on its own don't be afraid to ask for more feedback about your performance. Supervisors typically give the least feedback to those they consider to be their best employees. But in this instance while it may appear that no news is good news, that's not necessarily the case. We all have room for improvement. So if you aren't being given specific suggestions for how you can improve your skills - ask.

Unfortunately, most people do not have supervisors who they would consider mentors. In that case, don't be afraid to seek out relationships with others in the organization. One way to do this is to participate on assignments involving participants from more than one department. This is a great way to find out who in your organization others respect. Clearly you want to seek out someone whose talents and experience can augment your own. Also keep in mind that you can and should have more than one mentor. If you don't have access to an appropriate person within your organization, seek out a professional who works for a different company in the same industry (although be careful about any potential conflicts of interest) or a different industry altogether. Good management skills are transferable and so is good management advice.

Once you identify a potential mentor the best way to proceed is to ask them directly if you can speak to them from time to time for advice. Most people will be flattered and are usually happy to help. Once you find a potential mentor, make sure you respect that person's time. You picked them because they're successful which means that their time is in demand. Whatever you do, don't start off by asking for a favor (like a job) or for any information that would put that person in an uncomfortable position. Get to the point, thank them for their input then ask if you can stay in touch to keep them informed of your progress. They will almost always say yes. After that, the responsibility for maintaining the relationship will almost always fall on you, at least in the beginning (they're busy remember!)

Stay in touch but don't be a nuisance. That means don't reach out to them unless you really have something to talk about.

Otherwise, check in with your mentor on a regular basis - two to three times a year just to say hello and give them an update on your progress. You are building a relationship which calls for an investment of time. Eventually, if there's a genuine connection between the two of you, the relationship will become more mutual and your mentor will initiate contact with you as well. If that doesn't happen, don't be discouraged. Just like personal relationships, some mentoring relationships are only meant to last for a short time. If you've gained valuable insight and been a responsive and respectful listener, everyone benefits.